people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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