peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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