Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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