He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My feet surprised me
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