Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
