8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
