She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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