i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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