My sheets look like a crime scene.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
