is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
