he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
