the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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