i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
