The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
