So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
