Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she pinky promised me she was 18
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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