My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
