you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
