yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
