i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Everything about him screamed your future.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
