I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
