it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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