you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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