were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
