I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
