if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
