so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Send help, water and tortillas.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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