What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
