There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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