I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
