I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
