I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
