So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
