You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
jump out the window naked night went bad
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
