If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
