My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
