We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
