I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
