He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have fence marks all over my body
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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