her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
