I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
