Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
