Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
this hospital has no fireball
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
