im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize