So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
