i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
