I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
