Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Randomize
