Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
