He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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